:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
