I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
