i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
