I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
