Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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