Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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