Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
NoShamevember. You game?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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