So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
