i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
