she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
