Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
