im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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