John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
