I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
