My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
