I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
