Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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