just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I love you. Go after that dick
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
