There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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