I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
