Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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