i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
