smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
