I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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