pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
