i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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