see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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