Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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