Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
