My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
