The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He passed out mid-signature
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
