I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
