You're completely useless in the revolution.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
