the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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