I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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