You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
