Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
