guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
