well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
