You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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