Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
