Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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