u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
