I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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