I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
