I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
