Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
