Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
