Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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