Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
