oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
