they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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