You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She's like a pop up book from hell.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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