So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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