I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize