I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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