Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
