The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
