I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
where are you?
Hypothermia
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize