She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
